Whole, Happy and Well: Part One, Real Human Needs

Major life changes are an distinct part of any human existence - things that can cause us undue stress can also be perceived as a choice for happiness or a choice for misery. I once heard a wise man say that "pain in life is inevitable. Suffering is optional." That plan can be hard to remember when you're changing life's lanes from adulthood to that elusive state of "emotional maturity."

I had the occasion over the weekend to focus on spiritual and mental health with an splendid grouping of habitancy from all walks of life, who came across the country to form a temporary community of seekers. The topic? Health, breaking negative habits and achieving a holistic wellness. In a marathon setting, we learned from a therapist/life coach many of the facets of human emotionality and communication. I plan to write a series of ten articles on what I have learned that I may pass along that knowledge and hope to improve your life as it touched mine. Let's begin by discussing the basics: human needs.

Hard Drive

What Every Human Needs

In 1943, a psychologist by the name of Abraham Maslow introduced a revolutionary hierarchy of human needs to the world in the form of a pyramid, addressing those internal driving forces that touch every singular human life throughout the world and time. We all need basic physiological safety - air, water, relative temperature, food. These are basic to human survival. The most basic and basic four layers of the pyramid consist of what Maslow called "deficiency needs."

First comes those stay alive impulses for food and shelter, basic to human existence. Next, a man will seek security, such as funding through a job or principal other to ensure the continuity of food and shelter; safety against illness, violence, etc. Once suitably safe in their chosen environment, a man will seek significance through a relationship or relationship to a mate, family, community and/or faith group. Finally, in the basic needs of life comes self esteem and actualization, which includes the human desire for variety, growth and "becoming" as the individual deems important or standard to themselves.

With the exception of the physiological needs that result in actual death, when a man is exposed to a chronic insufficiency of needs, that individual will live life feeling anxious and tense. If the needs remain unmet for long periods of time due to internalized or social rules, the individual may begin to unconsciously act against the perceived condition or individual that prevents fulfillment. Does that mean that if you're feeling stifled and bored doing the "same old" every day you're experiencing a lack of variety? Yes, that is possible. Can you turn it? Pretty simply, given that this is the only need not being met. If you're not fulfilled in your love relationship through lack of authentic connection, and you're experience no variety, you will most likely feel a lack of significance even if you're the customary "security" for the family. Linking them as cut off parts of a whole verily helps understand that you must first resolve what it is that you truly need (desire) within the context of your life and seek to fulfill those goals in a way that best shows love and hold to you and those nearby you.

Here are some beginning questions for becoming unstuck in the needs category. notice that they are not "why questions" but "how or what." What are you selling yourself, how are you/can you be accountable...not "why am I failing?" If you ask yourself "why" your linking yourself to the past, and the past is just that. Past. Let the past go, through loving yourself in a salutary way and embracing your future. Here are some basic questions.

What about my life am I truly satisfied with and why? How does it make me feel when I close my eyes and consider that situation or person? What about my life am I feeling a deficit in? What need is being met (or not) in this scenario, and why am I feeling less pleasure here? What steps can I take to growth or turn how I feel about this deficit? What challenges or opportunities present in considering the situation? What rules (beliefs about life) am I applying to the situation that might need to be changed in order to growth my level of competency or satisfaction? Do I need to revise my rules, or revise my role? What do I verily want? What is my driving desire? Try to write a life mission statement of a uncomplicated sentence. Here is mine: "Authentically, lovingly bring a meaningful offering of peace and grace to every person I interact and engage with, from a place of fullness in personal balance and happiness."Sounds relatively simple, yet hundreds of thousands of habitancy are in strained or ending relationships, have splendid stress and anxiety or live lives of suffering because of a lack of met needs. Trust me when I tell you that comprehension your needs as a human is the first vital step to improving your relationships and your life. If you live is a place with fear and chaos, if you cannot remember the last day that you felt whole happy and well all on your own without a big emotional swing, this is where you want to start.

What might stop a man from meeting their own needs? Self defeating behaviors is a first thought, including self doubt and an expectation of failure. Focusing to much on details and less of outcomes also causes a man to go "without" instead of "within." If you have a major values disagreement (e.g. You truly do not love a spouse but your social rules prohibit divorce), live in in unsupportive environment or engage in negative self talk - all of these things can verily drastically turn the capability of your life. A great book that I advise to every person is from Tim Shurr, who is my life coach and mentor. His book "Get Out Of Your Own Way" is an exquisite reserved supply that we used in our coaching time to improve on my own life circumstances. I advise it because I have used it, own a copy and trust the guy - he's genuine.

In closing, we'll be finding more at the facets of human needs, self esteem and comprehension in weeks to come through the entire series. But first, know this. Until you verily consider and address the basic needs that you have as a human being in any culture; what your social beliefs and rules tell you about those needs; and what changes you might consider to result change, there is small occasion of progressing into the higher realms of self actualization or understanding.

Whole, Happy and Well: Part One, Real Human Needs